You are not a loser. You Haven't Found Your Passion or Gotten Over Your Fears!
“A society cannot make do with only talking about victory we always say that we learn more from defeat than from victory. So, if we learn from defeat, we should pay a bit more attention to those who lose”
Losers, Documentary on Netflix
Years ago I was running a youth program which consisted of privileged and high risk participants. As the program started, you could see where those from privileged backgrounds had clear more advantages and skills than those who came from less affluent environments. At times it was so glaring that the young people started to label each other as having potential, whereas others not so much. Yet one participant made a statement that has stuck with me for over 25 years. That statement was, ‘everyone has potential’.
This was such a simple statement yet it is something we tend to overlook constantly. Whereas some of the privileged youth had skills in traditional areas that we tend to value in society, the other young people were able to showcase their skills in other areas such as being able to relate comfortably to those from all backgrounds, perseverance and resiliency to name a few. In fact as the year went along, every single one of those young people grew to such an extent, they were able to find out what they were good at and what gifts they had to offer this world.
The program we ran went beyond developing people based on a narrow perception of what society values. We worked on cultivating and appreciating the gifts each individual has to offer. Some of the young people, who society would have deemed as losers, were able to identify their gifts while being able to freely explore what they were passionate about. Some other young people were able to identify their passion first and then were able to cultivate their gifts. Either way it was done, we tried to provide the opportunity where young people could take the risks needed to tap into their potential. These young people transformed their lives and their narrative.
This transformation was not easy and was not always successful. For many of us, especially adults, finding our passion and living out our potential is a struggle. As we go from job to job or business to business and we feel that we never get that break we need to succeed in life. Often this turmoil and uncertainty makes us question ourselves and makes us feel like - losers. We project onto ourselves what we think other people perceive us to be. No matter how much we say other people's opinion of us doesn't matter, we want to be part of the herd.
When we no longer listen to our instinct and doubt ourselves even more, we shy away and drift in life. We often numb ourselves to the potential in life and settle for what's comfortable. When we aren't fulfilling our life's purpose we develop a sense of emptiness, abuse substances, have meaningless relationships and other methods of self-harm to cover up what is missing in our lives. We inflict enough damage to detract us from fulfilling our true purpose. Life goes from having many opportunities, into a life that is bleak and filled with obstacles. This mode of living has rendered many of us to merely existing as opposed to truly living.
Yet history is filled with people who were drifters who eventually found their place. People like Samuel Jackson who became a success at 43; Colonel Sanders who franchised KFC at 62; fashion designer Vera Wang entered the industry at 40 and Ray Kroc founded McDonald's at 52. Life is filled with stories where people seemed directionless, bottomed out or were seen as losers, only to discover later what they are good at and their passion which allowed them to excel.
To actualize our potential we must align ourselves with the abundance of the universe. Even as we stumble, we must trust ourselves and allow our instincts to drive us. As we do this, we will discover the gifts we can offer to the masses.
When we take the risk to pursue our true purpose, we have meaningful relationships and we have a healthier relationship with ourselves. We become full of life and energy. In fact, as we are all fulfilling our destiny our world shifts. We live more out of love and less out of fear. We share ideas and collaborate freely. We realize that hoarding is not necessary since there is more than enough to go around in perpetuity.
Even though others may be able to do similar things to what we can offer, we must believe that no one can do things as uniquely as we can. For we are unique individuals and we are all blessed with divine purpose. Pursuing our purpose unabashedly is how we rid ourselves from the self or externally imposed label of a loser. As with the everything in the universe, everyone has a place and a purpose - aka potential. Thus, our gifts combined with our passion will help us realize we are powerful beyond belief.
Failure As A Teaching Tool
“Fall down seven times, stand up eight”
What if we are supposed to fail in order to succeed. What if, like children learning how to walk, we are supposed to stumble and fall continuously before we gain the strength needed to walk on our own? Let me explain.
Recently I saw one of those blockbuster superhero movies. Throughout the movie the main character had flashbacks recounting all the times she failed. Each time she recalled her memories, the main character felt vulnerable and ashamed. She couldn’t get over the feeling of failing and feeling less than capable.
Yet the moment of reckoning the character realized that every time she failed, she became more resilient and more determined. In fact every failure taught her an important lesson - fall down once, get up even stronger. At this moment, the main character was able to become who she was born to be and became the ultimate superhero.
Imagine if the character continued to see those memories as a source of shame and weakness instead of as learning tools. She would have not been able to fulfill her true destiny. Unfortunately this is what the majority of us do daily.
We continuously look back at our memories as being either good or bad. Yet there is no such thing as good or bad memories. We just have memories. It is the emotions we assign our memories that denotes them as either good or bad. Again, like the child learning to walk, our memories are there to provide us the learning tools needed to be successful in life.
When we assign our memories of failing as bad and we shame those who fail, we create a risk averse individual and in turn, a risk averse society. Being risk averse is good when you want to maintain social order. It is also good if a society is built as a one company or industry town. Aside from those type of circumstances, failure as a bad thing is counterintuitive to developing a progressive, creative and entrepreneurial society. All forms of social, cultural and creative change emanates from risk takers, those who are not afraid of doing things outside the norm. Change comes from those who are not afraid to fail.
If we want to change our lives and change our narrative, we need to continuously expose ourselves to failing. We must must be brave enough to try things that takes us outside our comfort zone. We must try things that may cause us to stumble and fall. But instead of looking at these stumbling blocks as a bad thing, we must look at failing as lessons we need to learn. Again, like a baby learning to walk, we need to understand that we are supposed to fall and fail in order to succeed and manifest our true greatness.
Overcoming Abundance Blocks To Achieve Our Dreams
A basic need of all human beings is to make a positive contribution to the world and to our fellow human beings, in addition to improving and enjoying our personal lives. No matter how large, or how small, we all have a great deal to offer the world and each other. We all have our own unique skills and ways we can contribute to this world. Why is it then that so many of us aren’t able to actualize our greatness?
False narratives that were formed as we were growing up created self-doubt and insecure notions of who we are and what we can offer this world. These false narratives derive from cultural biases, our economic background, gender, childhood trauma and other social notions that often typecasts what we are capable of doing. These external notions heard continuously by us, whether consciously or subconsciously, became our limited beliefs.
Our limited beliefs has been programmed into us from an early age. Our beliefs minimize what we are capable of doing and shapes how we see ourselves in this world. Worst yet, it makes us believe that life is filled with scarcity and that a person like us is not able to succeed without special help or divine intervention. Hence, we fall victim to scarcity programming.
Scarcity programming becomes so much a part of our existence that even our self talk reinforces our mind that scarcity is a reality instead of an exception. This type of thinking prevents us all from achieving what we were born to do and denies us from fulfilling our destiny.
It takes courage to pursue our dreams and manifest our destiny. It is so difficult to choose courage over a life of comfort and conformity amidst a culture defined by and filled with scarcity, fear and uncertainty. Our self talk and its implantation leads to feelings of self-doubt, disgust, and disrespect for oneself. If we continuously believe that the world is filled with scarcity, we are doomed before we even begin. Our lives currently are a reflection of what we truly believe. In order to manifest our destiny we must believe transform our minds from scarcity programming to a belief that life is filled with prosperity and abundance.
Abundance and prosperity programming is not about us getting what we want while others suffer. It is a belief that the world is filled with great opportunities. The history of the world has shown that with each new invention or new technology, new wealth and opportunities were created. When we are all manifesting our reality, the world’s prosperity grows beyond what was once deemed realistic.
There are tools we can use daily to reprogram our minds. Creative visualization, a method where we can develop visual images allowing us to see ourselves as successful is a great tool. We can use images that we see in magazines or online that represents our personal version of success. Once we created those images, we can develop the self talk or affirmations needed to train our minds to believe success is inevitable.
Since our negative self-talk was imprinted on us from birth, changing how we think must become a daily ritual that we practice for the rest of our lives. We can start with one minute of positive self-talk daily and grow from there. Over time we can implement more measures to help transform our minds.
Despite what we see in the news, we must remember that the universe is filled with possibilities, abundance and prosperity. To achieve our dreams, we need to internalize that life is trying to bring us what we truly desire. We have to be willing to accept that everything we truly want in this world is here for the asking.
Living in this world requires that we move with faith and great belief in life's possibilities despite what we see. By transforming our mindset from scarcity programming to abundance and prosperity programming, slowly and surely we will start to fulfill our destiny and actualize our greatness!
Visualize Our Success
Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.
- Seth Godin
Straighten up. Many of us don't believe in our dreams because we were raised to believe our dreams are worthless and we weren't meant to have such a life.
These messages were brought down from our parents who were in turn raised to believe the same. To think that living our dream life is doable, form many of us this is a revolutionary idea and does not garner a great deal of support from our family or loved ones. Without this support it makes living a life of our dreams challenging yet it doable.
Recently, I watched a YouTube video of Dr. Tererai Trent who grew up in an impoverished village in Zimbabwe prior to becoming a PHD recipient. Growing up in Zimbabwe, Dr. Trent mentioned that roles for women were quite limited. It was her encounter with female aid workers who spent time in her village that inspired Dr. Trent to pursue a life beyond her reality.
Seeing women with degrees who seemed confident and self-assured made Dr. Trent realize there was a world beyond what she experienced. From there Dr. Trent aspired to and worked towards living a life that many with her upbringing saw as impossible. Despite her background, Dr.Trent dreamed of finishing high school, going to the United States to earn her undergraduate, graduate and doctorate degree.
Seeing the foreign workers connected to a hunger that existed inside Dr. Trent. A type of hunger she didn't know existed. But once it was tapped into, the hunger Dr. Trent possessed drove her from her village in Zimbabwe to accomplish all the dreams she imagined and wrote down. You see, we all have a sense of hunger deep inside us all. We all have the hunger that we all can have a meaningful life. But there are things that may prevent us from manifesting our destiny. Many of us, as stated before, come from backgrounds where living our dreams was not something we were taught. Our backgrounds did not provide the luxury where living beyond what we can see was not readily available or plausible.
In order to break away from this reality, we have to ignore the narrative of our past in order to have a different future. For it is not our past that defines who we are it is what we believe in ourselves that will dictate the outcome of our future. It is our beliefs that allow us to visualize how we expect our lives could be. The limitations that shape us whether through nature or nurture can be altered by redefining our beliefs; through determination; and of course through hard work.
Gaining the Confidence to Pursue Our Dreams
"Fears and insecurities are unconsciously created by you. If you do not create them, they do not exist".
We are spirits or energies here on this earth having a human existence. We are all here with innate skills and abilities to contribute to and make an impact to the world around us. Yet whether it was intentional or not, many of us have lost sight of why we are here and have yet to discover our purpose. Our education system, institutions and harsh criticism as we grew up chipped away at our confidence slowly to the point we are no longer our authentic selves.
This sense of loss has detracted many of us from fulfilling our true destiny and instead we conformed to be like mindless cogs in the wheel of life. We lost our bearing and only a few of us truly believe in our own skills and abilities. How do we regain the confidence needed to manifest our destiny and live the life we were meant to live?
We often think we need a lot of work to build our self confidence. This is partially true. We can use affirmations, gratitude statements, creative visualizations and more to shift the perceptions we have of ourselves. Even though many of us do this daily, we only experience minor or temporary shifts in confidence. To truly gain belief in ourselves we should take lessons from the pharmaceutical industry who use placebo pills to measure the effectiveness of the drugs they are testing. Let me explain.
When companies test a new drug or pill, they test the pill by giving one group the drug they created and another group, the control group, a placebo or sugar pill to measure against the effectiveness of the medicine. It is not unusual for people who received the placebo pill start to feel better or become healed even though the placebo pill has no healing properties at all. The effectiveness of the placebo pill through many studies can range from 20, 30 or 40% to a rate of 70%.
Remember these pills are usually sugar or water based pills. It is the belief in the effectiveness of the pill that leads patients to believe they are on the path towards healing. It is the same belief we must have in pursuit of our goals.
As stated previously, we can use affirmations, gratitude or creative visualization as much as we want. But until we take that sugar pill and take that leap of faith that things will work out, we will never have the full confidence needed to achieve our dreams. Nobody really knows for certain things will work out. Even those with the right situations and circumstances around them still need to take a leap, albeit a smaller one, to make things a reality.
To push through the negative self talk, the mindless chatter that happens in our mind, as well as the countless distractions, we need to create rituals that help put us in the proper mindset. That ritual could involve something as simplistic as popping our equivalent of a placebo pill.
We can create rituals like hockey players use. A hockey player can easily get a trainer to tape their stick before a game. But most players choose to go through the mindless process of wrapping tape around their stick over and over. This ritual helps the player to focus on the game as well as invoke the confidence needed to be successful.
Too many times we allow our fears and insecurities prevent us from pursuing our dreams. We have all experienced fear. Even though most successful are open about their experiences. These fears appear to be real yet we should not allow them to may be debilitating.
In order to push through the fear we must find and develop a ritual that helps us to get into the right mindset as we pursue our goals. When we feel distracted or down and out, we can go back to the ritual we created to help and guide us. Let us not wait until we are fully confident or when things are perfect. Instead we should pop our equivalent of a placebo pill or the wrapping of a hockey stick in order to gain the focus and confidence needed to live the life of our dreams.
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How to Live the Life You Love
“Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary. Choosing a school, choosing a career, getting married, having kids--all those things are scary. If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier
I have to admit that I am more fortunate than others in the sense I have a supportive enough partner who learned to understand my madness. I have always been a person who is more interested in basing my life around things i love to do. This is not common for the majority of us in this world.
As I age, I am becoming less patient with doing things that doesn't support the vision I have for my life. When I was younger I had the tendency to do things that I thought I needed to grow and learn, only to realize it didn’t really serve me at all. Now I continuously evaluate things based on the statement, if it doesn’t serve me, then it doesn’t deserve me. It sounds selfish at first. But working to make other people’s dreams a reality at the sacrifice of my own, made this statement not selfish at all, it is actually the smartest thing I or anyone else can do. So how realistic is it to pursue our dream when we don’t have support.
As creators we have been blessed with the ability to make our lives however we want it to be. Yet too many of us get consumed with doing things that doesn't get us closer to our goals. Taking the advice of one expert when it comes to decluttering our homes, we should use the same techniques to declutter our lives.
As entrepreneurs, whether we are good at something or not, we feel that others can't do things as good as we can. The reality is, this is a lie. We deceive ourselves into believing we always know what's best. But the things we do enjoy ends up suffering because we expend so much energy on things that don’t interest us at all.
I get it. When we start off, we may need to do it all. In order not to get consumed with the things that don’t matter to us, the best thing to do is to write down all the things we enjoy doing, list what we are doing and list the things we don’t like doing.
As we grow, earn more revenues or find cost efficiencies, start to get rid of the things that does not bring us joy. When we focus on the things that provides us joy, we grow at an exponential rate. When we try to do it all, we get consumed by the minutiae. It is the long protracted focus on things that do not interest us, is what changes our energy and our mood towards things we love. By shifting to a joy based work with we amplify our output.
When I ran my own festival, I drowned myself in admin work even though I had an admin assistant. I didn’t understand how one person could enjoy doing things I detested. Many years later, I understand better. There are people who will always love to do the things we don’t like while being amazed when we do things they don’t like. In this interconnected world, we all find a place where we thrive and succeed.
When we tap into our strengths, we actualize our best selves. Decluttering your life doesn’t just improve happiness; it improves performance, too. Most successful people focus on the things that really matter to them, and they have confidence to turn down all the things that don't.
If we want to be really good and master one thing, we’ve got to say no to many others.
Here is a three-step process that can help us master our craft:
List our core values of the three to five things that matter most. These are our guiding principles.
Take a rough inventory of how we spend your time and energy on an average day. If an “average” day is hard to come up with, just look back to the past week or two as an example. What percentage of time and energy is spent on activities that align with our core values? Which of the activities that do not align with our core values can we reasonably cut?
For every new opportunity that comes our way, ask: “If I say yes to this, to what am I saying no?” This is a powerful question. It makes trade-offs highly apparent and helps us avoid getting overwhelmed by the acute excitement of taking on something new.
By radically focusing on what we enjoy and what we are really good at, eventually we will find ourselves doing things we love and living the life we love.
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Failure is not the opposite of success it's a part of it
What you help a child to love can be more important than what you help him to learn.
Almost everywhere we see people writing about finding your passion. But one of the things that we don't see people address is the emotional toll it takes for us to step outside our comfort zone to pursue our dreams. If it was so easy to pursue our dreams, many would have done so already.
One of the greatest challenges we have with pursuing our goals aside from the financial sacrifice, is the fear of being rejected. What if we are not good enough? It is neither success nor failure that paralyzes us, it is the fear of being rejected.
When we pursue anything we love, we open ourselves up to be vulnerable. This also happens as we pursue our dreams. We are in love with our ideas. We are in love with what we want to achieve. As we pursue our love, getting hurt is a strong possibility.
This brings us back to emotions we experienced when we were younger. Some of us were rejected when asked a person out or we weren't even asked out at all. Some of us were rejected by being last picked for a team. We felt rejection by not being part of the cool kids in school.
Failure to us feels like we are being rejected by the same people in our past. So instead of doing things we are passionate about, we tend to settle for things that seems socially accepted. This feeling is not an easy thing to get over.
I have to admit I failed many times before. Failure felt like being rejected. I had to learn my business model and assumptions were all wrong. I had to learn and come to terms with that. What gave me the ability and the confidence to bounce back was not easy.
I had to go back into my past and discover what lessons I had to learn from my failures. I had to admit where I went wrong. I also had to explore what I did right. Too many times when we fail, we neglect some of our successes no matter how small or how big. The lessons I learned from my past failures gave me tremendous insight of what I needed to change in the future. For this I am grateful.
I also had to understand that failure is not a life sentence. Instead of giving up, I learned that companies nowadays pivot instead. Tons of companies start off with an original intent and along the way they see that the market craves something different. This type of failure is a part of the learning process. I'm not advocating failing for the sake of it. But we as humans learn way more from failures than our successes.
The rejection we feel is real and it will not go away. But finding a group of like minded people who understand what we are going through helps to ease the pain as the transition is taking place. Going against the stream is not easy. But we should never try to do this alone.
There are groups of people who understand what we are going through. We should seek out our fellow dreamers instead of walking alone. Our fellow dreamers will remind us why we do the things we do. Our fellow dreamers will support us as we go through our emotional pain. Much like our friends who support us when we our down, our fellow dreamers become our supporters.
When we give up on our dreams, not only do we miss out, the world misses out what we have to offer.
We must embrace failure as part of the learning process. Learn from our mistakes instead of being crippled by them. Being part of a like minded support group really helps. This group can remind us that we should be thankful for the lessons learned as opposed to be burdened by it.
Let us all pursue our dreams. Failure and rejection should not stop us. Do not quit before the miracle happens!
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How to find your passion? What brings us joy?
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once s/he grows up.
Recently I was watching my grandniece find joy playing with a shoe for what seemed to be hours on end. At under two years old she was filled with laughter and the type of expression commonly found in children. My grandniece was even videotaped by her mother pretending to splash around in water after receiving a pair of rain boots for Christmas. She pretended to create big puddles and danced gleefully. This is the type of passion children have. It's the type of passion many of us start to lose yearly the older we get especially after we entered the workforce. Is it possible to maintain this passion as we get age?
The podcast I host, Living Your Dreams, features people who have been able to maintain their childlike enthusiasm about life by turning their passions into a business. The interviewees’ businesses range from being artists, a comedian, event planner, promoter, yoga instructor, health coaches and even an owner of a swim school. Each person decided that the thing they enjoyed doing is what they wish to do daily for the rest of their lives. Making money from the things that brings them joy is more valuable than anything else. Each entrepreneurs’ path to making their passion a success was not easy, but it is very doable.
The entrepreneurs I interviewed may not be living as carefree of a life as my grandniece. That is a given. Each of them had worked in different corporate environments before they realized what truly gave them joy. This is a courageous act. In order for us to lead a life we have always dreamed about, money is of course a concern. But being happy is the reason why they all fought through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship to live their dream life. This too will be our reality.
In order to become who we really want to be, we have to explore what our passions are. We cannot think about what makes us the most money. Who would have thought that teaching swimming to children in her teens would have led to one of my guests to opening up her own swimming facility 10 years later. Instead we should ask ourselves:
What brings you joy?
What are the things you enjoy doing seamlessly for hours?
What activities do you find you are really good at?
If someone was going to pay you more money than you need to do the thing you loved what would that be?
Or if money/time/family commitments were no obstacles what would you do?
If these questions feel difficult at the moment, look back at our younger years, not as young as my grandniece but much older, around our teens.
What did you enjoy doing aged 14-18
List everything you said you wanted to do when you grew up?
What are you really good at? List everything you can think of no matter how irrelevant or bizarre it may seem when you first think about it.
The times we are our happiest is when we are utilizing our natural talents and skills to do the things we are most passionate about. It is in these instances where we in the zone. When we were younger, it was easy to identify what we love because we didn’t have as many commitments. But as we get older, we put up mental blocks and judged things in a sense whether things are realistic or not and whether others would validate what we are doing.
This exercise is part of the beginning stages of turning our passions into our business and transforming our dreams into reality. Thus, we must approach this exercise through childlike enthusiasm and maintain an open mind.
If you want to learn more about the process, join our Facebook group and look out for our free online workshop coming soon.
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Visualizing Our Dream Life
“I want to see you focused on something, whatever it is. Because if a human being stays focused, the universe will yield.”
How many times in our lives have we wished for a life grander than what we have presently. We may want to keep the same friends, family members and partners. But we wanted a life which would allow us to travel more, have a more fulfilling job but most importantly more stress free. What happened to deter from making our dream a reality?
With all things in life, we allowed circumstances to take us off the path we always dreamed about. We got caught up with trying to fit in or trying to survive. Most importantly, we allowed the seeds of doubt enter our mindset rendering our dreams to become an illusion. We started to believe that dreams aren't attainable by people like ourselves. Thus, the vast majority of us simply decided that not going after our dreams we can avoid disappointment. This renders us to live a life that is safe, yet not truly fulfilling.
No matter how old we are or how much money we have access to, we all deserve to live our best life. Visualization techniques are one of many useful tools we can use to take us from where we are today to where we want to go.
Benefits of visualization
Visualization activates our creative subconscious. This makes it easier for our mind to come up with creative ideas on how to achieve our goals.
Visualization helps us to recognize the resources beyond financial needed to achieve our goals. It helps us to recognize the people around us who are supporters and connectors. These connections allow other people to come into our lives who can further assist us.
How to use Visualization techniques
Create goal pictures or a vision board. The old school way is to get bristle board and old magazines. We can go through the magazines and cut out images or words of how we want our life to look. For many this can be difficult without feeling of a sense of shame or embarrassment. Interestingly enough, unless told otherwise children have no qualms being creative. Thus, we must use childlike enthusiasm during this exercise. Once the board is finished, the board should be hung in a place where we can see it daily as a constant reminder.
Mental rehearsing is another beneficial technique. This can be done sitting or laying down. This technique is about creating a visual image of what we want to see happen and imagine it in its perfect form.
Professional athletes have been successfully using mental rehearsal and visualization techniques to help them to perform better. By creating and practicing successful outcomes in their mind over and over, theses athletes gain a great sense of confidence to replicate success in real life.
Practicing visualization techniques daily and seeing things as already complete not only rapidly accelerates our achievement of our dreams and goals, it also serves as a constant reminder of what we are working towards. This reminder enables us to choose what is important to do and what isn’t. It also helps to reduce needless distractions from leading us astray.
I have used visualization techniques to help teach cardio classes, for a career change, to travel, to transform my body and even to heal myself. For all the outcomes I have experienced in my life, I first dreamed about it and then worked to make them a reality.
The best times to practice mental rehearsals or visualization is right after we wake up and before we go to sleep. These are the times we are most relaxed.
As we practice mental rehearsals or review our vision boards daily or any other visualization techniques daily, we become more energized. This newfound energy strengthens and stimulates our emotions. As our emotions are stimulated, we attract the situations and people needed to transform our dreams and make them a reality. It’s not an easy process, but it is a process that would leave us leading a very fulfilling life!
Creating your life vision
Are you living the life you always dreamed of having? Growing up we all had ideas of how we wanted to lead our lives. As little kids we were great at using our imagination. Only as we got older, we started to doubt our imagination and doubt our dreams. After being told that so many things weren't possible, we started to lose the natural wonder life has to offer.
Those who are the happiest and those who are most successful never lost sight of the natural creativity innate in all human beings. Thus, we are going to reclaim our inner child and our inner creativity to reclaim the dreams we always had growing up.
Whether we are 20 or 60, it is never too late to pursue our dreams. We still have enough life to make our dreams our reality. In order to start the process we need to ask ourselves some basic questions.
What do we value and what is important to us?
Our values are the things that makes us happy. Not knowing our values may end up in us making decisions that meets someone else’s values, which may or may not make us happy.
In my case, travelling is very important to me. I learn so much seeing how other people live and other cultures. To create a life where I can travel freely, freedom is something I value.
Other values that we may possess could be love, creativity, power, family, curiosity, fitness….
By choosing our values, it will help us to achieve success based on our own terms. What we value helps us to interpret everything that is going on around us. It impacts our feelings, our actions and in turn, our results. In essence, what we value motivates us to act and helps us to understand the results we are getting in our life and why.
After establishing our values, we can then ask other questions that will help us to live the life of our dreams. These questions are as follows:
What brings us joy?
If money and fear were not factors what would i do daily?
What kind of relationships do I want in my life?
How are my career and finances?
Where would I like to go
What do I like to have
If I had more time, How would I spend time on my health and spirituality
What would I like to earn?
How would you spend your best day?
My perfect job looks like…..
After work I….
On your deathbed what would you want people to say about you?
Going through this may not provide answers write away. This is an ongoing process. Starting is the hardest thing to do. Once words have been put to paper, create a visual representation of what was written.
We will spend the next few weeks going through all these questions to help create the visuals for our dream life and then work towards making our dreams a reality.
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Stop Making Resolutions! Do this instead!
“For the health of the economy, we compromise the health of human beings. It is time we let consciousness guide our lives.”
Every year, we feel compelled that we should make resolutions that would lead to a change in how we live. Gyms, yoga studios, bookstores are busy in January as people promise to get fit, do more yoga and read more. On the flip side restaurants, liquor stores and junk food sales drop as people choose to go on a diet or cut back on drinking. We do well for a month and start to fall off track a month later. This seems like a never ending cycle.
We also say we are going to make more money or become the CEO of our lives. In the same vein as we make proclamations about our new found fitness, our entrepreneurial drive also goes by the wayside. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? This type of failure is unwarranted and gives us so few learning experiences. How do we make this year different? What needs to change?
Instead of experiencing the shame and guilt from another failed promise, we should shun the notions of resolutions and short term goals and instead think more about creating a long term vision for ourselves. We should create a vision of how we want to live. We should decide how we want our lives to look, what are the things we value and then install the things needed to achieve that ideal.
Wanting to make more money is cool. If presented with an offer to make twice as much money, but see your family half as much, would you take the job and why? If money is your value, go for it. But if family is important to you, this value must be part of your decision making equation. What we value must be part of our overall life vision.
Most people who achieve long term weight loss focus on developing a larger fitness lifestyle that is relevant to their experience and incorporates what they like. Thus, if we hate running, don’t run. Instead, focus on the things that we love to do such as dancing, taking walks with families or loved ones.
Enjoy the food we love, but in smaller portions. If we restrict ourselves from what we love to for the things we think we should, we go on a perpetual rollercoaster filled with shame and self-loathing.
Self-love is critical. Hating ourselves will never bring us peace with our bodies or our souls. Loving our bodies, shifts how we do things. We would do things based on how it makes us feel and fills us with joy. Being a certain body size won't make us happier. Being happy makes us happy.
As creators, we have the abilities and the skills required to develop the lifestyle of our choice. Write down the things that brings us joy. See how we can either bring it to our work and eliminate what doesn't. Eventually will will shift into a job we love based on our values. In the future we will end up living a lifestyle not based on short term goals but based on the long term vision of how we want to live.
It Is a Wonderful Life
One of my favourite holiday movies is “It’s a Wonderful Life”. This classic movie, is about a man, facing dire financial straits and pressure from his family, wished that he was never born. An angel appeared to grant him his wish. With the guide of the angel, the main character was able to see the impact he made to lives of others, through his absence.
In our own lives, when things are not going right, it is difficult to acknowledge all the good things that happen nor the impact we make on others. In these moments, we get too caught up with the bad. As the bad becomes consuming it often leads to depression, anxiety or an overwhelming sense of malaise. This is the time where it is most critical to look at the positive things we make on the people around us and its ripple effect.
Instead of waiting for something bad to happen in our lives, we should take inventory of all the good we did and is currently doing. Think about the time we made someone smile, made a child happy, when we made a client appreciate what we did or what made someone feel loved. In fact, we should also take note of what makes us happy, what makes us smile and what makes us feel loved. Write this down on a sheet of paper or in a journal. Make sure this list is easily accessible.
When we are feeling down, feeling blah or even feeling happy, refer back to this list to remind ourselves how valuable we are not only to the lives of others, but also to ourselves. This list is a reminder why we matter and the impact our existence has makes. Reviewing this list on a regular basis shifts our subconscious mind and develops a new script on how we view ourselves. This script will help us stave off long term depression and a negative viewpoint of ourselves.
This is not an exercise in self-indulgence. This is a necessary process to maintain our focus on why we are here on this earth, our purpose and our impact. Take stock of things when life is going well and eventually the days where things aren't going well will be minimal and short lived. In time, we will see we are living a wonderful life after all.
Creating an Abundant Lifestyle
“The key to abundance is to stop needing more, and to start appreciating what you already have.”
We live in a world of abundance. Everywhere around the world we hear of people creating wealth in new and innovative ways. We see regular people, who are not wealthy travel around the world. People who we grew up with who we didn’t believe were the most talented, lead lifestyles beyond our perceived expectations of them. Then we look at our lives and wonder if we are living up to the expectations we had for ourselves.
We can come up with many reasons why others are leading the type of life we wanted. But deep down, do we really believe that we are doing less than what we believe is true. The reality is, even though we may want more, our beliefs do not align with those desires.
For most of us, we were raised to believe this is a world of scarcity. We were taught that there isn’t enough for us all. For many of us, we were raised with the belief that those who became successful either lied, cheated or sold their souls. Ok, I kid. But this isn’t too much of a stretch.
Being raised with the belief that to become successful, we have to do something untoward, saying that success is what we want, would not be aligned with the beliefs we grew up believing. It is our deeply held beliefs that override everything. The beliefs we tell ourselves either empowers or disempowers us.
To get the love that we want, to have the career we want, to have the lifestyle we want, we have to change our core beliefs. We need to program our minds from one that believes in scarcity to one that believes in abundance. Not only that, we have to believe a better life is something we deserve.
The following are examples of Affirmations For Abundance, Wealth and prosperity
The world is filled with abundance
I am open and receptive to all the wealth life offers me. ...
I am surrounded by wealth. ...
I deserve prosperity ...
My success is necessary. ...
I live an abundant life. ...
My dreams are coming true. ...
i am grateful
Practice this affirmation when you wake up and before you go to sleep. As you continue to practice this affirmation not only will your mind shift, your feelings about things will shift. As this shift occurs your reality will shift. Your life achieves what your mind believes.
Power of beliefs
“Write it on your heart you are the most beautiful soul of the Universe. Realize it, honor it and celebrate the life.”
Amit Ray, Nonviolence: The Transforming Power
Each and every single us was created for a reason. We all have something unique we can contribute to this world. This is innate to us all. The level of contribution we make is dictated by what we believe to be true about ourselves. This is key to growth and success in this world.
When we mention the term beliefs, most people think about religion or codes of conduct. But in this instance, belief is how we perceive ourselves. How we see ourselves internally, becomes projected externally. When we feel good about ourselves we radiate confidence. When we think negatively, we cower and hide. When negative, we present ourselves as small, believing we don’t have much to contribute.
When we cower and hide, we don’t try anything uncomfortable. We avoid anything that will bring attention to ourselves. We deny ourselves from fulfilling our purpose. This leaves us feeling empty. We try to fill that emptiness with food, alcohol, drugs, long hours at work or any other addiction. Those addictions feel good temporarily, yet leaves us to even more empty. It becomes a never ending cycle of addiction and self-loathe.
To change our reality, we need to shift what we believe about ourselves. Usually, it is the words that we use to describe ourselves at our lowest point, is what we feel about ourselves subconsciously. When we make a mistake, we chastise ourselves by saying “I am so dumb”. When we are challenged by a situation, we tend to say “I can’t do this. This isn’t for people like me.”
To change our perception, we need to change our mental conditioning. We need to reframe our narrative. Start and end the day by stating new truths. Below is an example:
I am enough!
Life loves me!
All is well in my world.
Everything is working out for my highest good.
Out of this situation only good will come.
It is only a thought, and a thought can be changed.
I am creating positive change.
Look in the mirror, and proclaim,“I love you, I really love you.”
Looking within is safe.
I forgive myself and set myself free.
As I say yes to life, life says yes to me.
In the beginning, this may seem simplistic and far fetched. After awhile, these words will form our new beliefs. Our beliefs will change our thoughts. Our thoughts will change how we perceive ourselves and will change our reality. Opportunities become available. Mistakes we will no longer be seen as fatalistic. We will seek the lessons to be learned in challenges and as something we can overcome.
Since every thought we think, creates our future. In time, we will notice that we transformed ourselves from who we thought we were, to become the person always dreamed we could be.
Using Affirmations to Reprogram Your Mind
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.”
Do you ever wonder why it is so difficult to eat healthy foods and the types of food that fuels our body? Think about how we talk about healthy food. We have a tendency to say that healthy food is boring; I don't want to eat like a rabbit; there is no fun in that.
Our mind is designed to steer us toward pain and away from pleasure. When we label food that is good for us as boring and bland, it makes it difficult to stick to healthy eating habits. To maintain a healthy diet, we must think of healthy food in a pleasurable way. This was key to my fitness success.
In order to transform my body, I had to retrain how I thought and felt about food. I had to believe how good healthy food was for me. Even the food I didn't like at first, I convinced myself how beneficial it would be for me and my body.
This process wasn't easy at first. Our mind does what it thinks we want. I had to learn if I said things would be hard, my mind would do things that will echo what I stated. Then I would binge on junk food. I kept telling myself that this is easy and started to believe how good I would feel in the future. I believed the pain I was experiencing now, will lead to a pleasurable outcome. These words, in hindsight, were my daily affirmations.
Daily affirmations set my mindset towards my desired goals. Each day I told my mind that I was healthy and strong. I had already convinced myself that I was where I wanted to be and I was going through process needed to actualize my vision. Despite any inconsistencies with my habits and the setbacks I experienced, I knew I was on the right path. This is the beauty of affirmations.
Affirmations are to our subconscious mind what music is to our hearts and soul. In the same way a song can make us feel sexy, powerful, happy or angry, we can create affirmations to make us feel the same.
My journey was made easier because I assumed the process would be challenging yet doable. My journey was successful because I shifted my perception of healthier foods and my process. This perception became part of my core belief. This process can be applied to all parts of life. Thus, affirmations played a critical role in reprogramming my mind, my beliefs, my thoughts and my reality.
Do Affirmations Really Work?
‘ Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it”
When you watch a movie, you laugh, you cry, you empathize with or detest characters on the screen, even though the movie is not real. In movies, for two hours a director is programming your mind to illicit a form of emotion. This is the same with affirmations. Affirmations are the movies we play inside our minds to illicit a certain feeling or emotion about ourselves consciously or subconsciously.
Normally we have a tendency to form our opinions of ourselves based on what was told to us externally. For example, as we were growing up, we can easily recall a teacher, parent, friend or anyone close to us would say we didn't have the ability to do something. Those words we tended to believe either consciously or subconsciously and became a part of our beliefs. Those words became a part of our life story.
But how often do we take the time to tell ourselves the positive things we like about ourselves? When do we take the opportunity to honour the gifts that we developed in our lives or even the things that make us who we are?
Affirmations are sentences aimed to affect the conscious and subconscious mind. The words automatically and involuntarily bring up related mental images into the mind that could inspire, energize and motivate. Repeating affirmations affect the subconscious mind and in turn, influences our behaviour, habits, actions and reactions.
So if we want to reprogram our mind to create the story of our lives the way we want it to be we can simply write down the words of who we want to be.
I am loving and I enjoy being loved.
I am worthy.
I am healthy.
I am talented.
I have extraordinary to offer this world.
I am the creator of my reality
I am enough
Speak these affirmations out loud for 5 mins a day soon after waking up and before going to sleep. Speak these words with emotion. In the beginning this may seem inauthentic. When we tell our minds this over and over, our minds start to believe these words to be true. Once our minds see this as a truth, our beliefs change and as our beliefs change, so does your behaviour. We are what we believe.
As we start our practice, we need to do it consistently and with intent to create change. Over time our thoughts will become our reality.
We will be hosting a 30 day Affirmations challenge starting on December 3rd, 2018.
To participate, join our Living Your Dreams group at:
How to Become the Person You Always Wanted to Be
“We are put on this planet only once, and to limit ourselves to the familiar is a crime against our minds.”
Change is hard. I’m not going to lie about that. Moving from being stuck to unstuck is a difficult thing to do. Part of the reason why it is so hard for us to make a change is from the messages we received as we were growing up.
It has been revealed in studies that the average toddler hears the word no 400 times per day. By the time they are 3 years old, that child would have heard the word no over 400 000 thousand times. Thus, even though we are all born with strong intuitive skills, those natural instincts get diminished due to the rejection we have continuously faced in this world.
From the early days of our lives, messages from parents, schools and external sources such as the made has made trusting our intuition or trusting our gut very difficult. It is also why we have a hard time finding where we fit in this world and become fearful to do the things that truly makes us happy. How do we turn things around to live the we truly desire?
As we age, even if we hear the word yes more often or are told the world is filled with opportunities, those formative years have left such an imprint in our minds, we have a hard time believing that we are able to do so much more. It doesn’t mean that we can’t change things, it means we must be aware of this reality and reprogram our mind daily.
We all heard about affirmations. Many of us do not think they work and that’s why we don’t commit to a daily ritual. The reality is, our brain believes everything that it tells it, good or bad, right or wrong. If we get into the habit of positive self-talk or self-praise, our mind eventually will believe what we say.
According to famed psychotherapist Marisa Peer, “Self-praise is more important than getting praise from anyone else. Usually when someone else praises us, we usually assume that the person would want something from you. That they may have an agenda. when you praise yourself, it is more meaningful since you do not have an agenda.”
This makes it very important to tell ourselves what we want to hear from other people and we must say it daily. Criticism withers people and praise builds them up. In the beginning it will be difficult. The mind does not like anything that is unfamiliar. The unfamiliar, to the mind is painful and the mind has evolved to protect us from pain and move us towards pleasure.
In order to make and sustain change, we have to make our new lifestyle familiar. Start every morning with affirmations and end each evening with the same habit. Over time, our brain will believe the praise first and over time we will start to believe it.
Simple affirmations are as follows:
I am enough
I am loved
I am beautiful
I am strong
Today is filled with possibilities
The more we do this, the more we will believe these words to be true. As we believe the words, the more we will feel things to be true. Our mind, body and soul will shift. We will learn how to trust ourselves more and trust in ourselves inherently. Yes we will still have some down days, but those down days will not be as lasting as the belief system we are creating.
Trust your words, trust your feelings and in turn, trust your instincts.
How to Change Your Life
Many of us dream of living a different life than the one we are currently living. We see the lives of people on tv, in the movies, in magazines and even online and say they are lucky, why can’t my life be similar. In fact our lives can.
Each and every single one of us was born with a purpose. We are all born with unique skills and gifts that we can offer the world. Some people have the skill to create art, others have the gift of gab, some people can construct things either with their hands or with machines. Whatever it is, we all have something to offer. Why aren’t we doing it presently?
Along the way as we were growing up, no fault of our parents or those around us, we were told stories about what we can or cannot do. We were made to believe that only certain skills or attributes have value and the ability to make money with non-traditional skills were quite limited. As we heard these messages as we grew up, we started to doubt our skills and abilities and chose to conform instead. We diminished the skills that we possess and chose to do things only to make a living, to fit in and to protect ourselves from the pain of failure. How do we reclaim our lives?
The difference between those who are living their lives filled with passion and excitement is they chose to maintain their belief in their skills and they chose to ignore the naysayers. The choice is not an easy one to make but something inside them gave them the belief that anything is possible. Most importantly those people truly believe that they are enough.
When you believe that you are enough, you believe you deserve more out of life. When you believe you are enough, you see the world as filled with possibilities instead of a world to be feared. When you believe you are enough, you welcome challenges as something to overcome instead of something to avoid. When you believe you are enough, you believe that you have what it takes to lose weight forever, you are able to run a 10k, you are able to get the job you always wanted and you are able to sustain a loving relationship. When you believe you are enough your life and your mindset changes. How do you turn things around?
You can change things around by simply telling yourself daily ‘I am enough’. Your brain believes everything you tell it, good or bad, right or wrong. So even though you may not believe it at first, over time your mind will start to absorb these words. The more you say that you are enough, your mind and then you will believe it. For extra help, write ‘I am enough’ on your bathroom mirror. Write ‘I am Enough’ as your screensaver or on your phone. It may take a week, a month or even a year but eventually it will work.
When you feel that you are enough, then you believe that you deserve more out of life as opposed to accepting a reality that was given to you. Soon you will transform from envying other people’s lives to having a life that is envied. Get the life you want today. Get that life by saying quietly and then boldly ‘I AM ENOUGH’.
How do we become unstuck
This is a difficult question to answer for we know that we really aren't stuck we are comfortable. We are stuck because the pain of changing is greater than the pain we are experiencing presently, which keeps us in our comfort zone. How is this so?
Simple explanation based on my life. Anytime I had to change my fitness level it was mainly due to the pain I was or was about to experience. When I was diagnosed as prediabetic my option was either live my life on pills until I eventually went onto insulin shots. I did not want to go that route. The other option was to exercise and change my eating habits. Since I detest taking needles, being reliant on insulin shots was not really an option. Thus staying in my comfort zone was more painful than the pain of making a change.
When we procrastinate or come up with excuses for not starting or following through with something that we know will make our lives better, we are basically telling ourselves that the pain of change is greater than staying in whatever mess we are are in. Fitness or health professionals have learned this through many years working with those who experienced highly preventable health scares. The pain of committing to a healthier lifestyle, which can save a person’s life, was far greater than maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle.
One job our mind has is to protect us from unknown danger. Change is the unknown. Thus our mind will conjure up many reasons why we shouldn't change. It is too hard. What would other people think if we don't stay committed and fail? I don't want to give up my favourite shows or food. Those factors or excuses do not make us happy. Nor do those excuses help us to achieve the goals we wish to achieve in life. But it is something we know and we are comfortable with. Moving outside of this sets our mind in the frantic state we know as anxiety or even fear.
So how do we change?
First of all, our present life is the result of where we focused our thoughts. Where we are today is based on the decisions we have or haven't made in our lives. Energy flows where your thoughts goes. This means that basically we directed most of our energy to bring us to the life we have today. So to change our lives, we have to shift our thoughts and where we focus our energy. Focusing and dwelling on our problems won’t get us anywhere. Going deep into our problems may allow us to find all the complications that have lead to our present situation. But this can also lead us to identifying so much with our problems that it will keep us stuck. It will also shed very little light on how to get past our present situation.
Moving forward means we cannot hold on to the problems or challenges we face. We have to switch our mind to what we want to experience instead. Our minds cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. That is why we get anxious when we think something is about to happen even though it's not really going to happen. An obvious example is the emotional roller coaster we experience while watching a movie. We go through the emotions of sadness, joy, horror and fear as if we were the character in a movie. Our mind feels that those emotions are really happening to us and that's why we get a visceral reaction. How do we use this to our advantage?
We have to shift our energy and our thoughts to what we want to experience in life. If we want to be respected at work, we have to shift our minds to what it feels like to be respected. We are instructing our minds to what we want to see happen. We are also shifting our energy to experience how we want to feel in life. Then we would do the things needed to gain respect. It may not happen right away but by moving forward it will help us to become unstuck. Does that mean we won’t feel afraid or we don’t experience bumps? Of course we will. But those bumps are not the end of us and it will not ruin us.
Once you start focusing your energy towards what you want out of life, things around you will change. Your energy will change and your perspective of life will change. By focusing on solutions or what you want out of life through simple techniques and by placing the power of your life in your hands, you will eventually become unstuck.
Why change is so hard
As energetic or spiritual beings living a human existence, we all struggle to try live up to the potential of our limitless dreams while struggling to overcome our limited physical realities.
Deep down, energetically, we all want to live a life beyond what many of us are living today. We all want to make the changes necessary for us to live our lives to its fullest. But there is something that is stopping us from actually living in a way we usually dream about.
What is that something that makes it so difficult for us too change? Do we lack ambition? Do we not want change? Are we not disciplined enough? What will it take for us to change?
Change whether it is positive or not, is scary. Change will bring us to something unknown. Even if the thing we want to change into is a lot brighter than how we live now, we often worry about how we will have to adjust to change. We wonder if we can keep up with the change. How do we incorporate change into a permanent lifestyle or will we revert to old habits. That is why most of us end up doing what is comfortable as opposed to pushing ourselves to live a life that can be possible.
We revert back to what is comfortable because we actually gain from staying as we are regardless of how much we complain about our current situation. Change is uncomfortable. What you gain from not changing is still more stabilizing than what you can gain from changing. Subconsciously change also makes us feel the previous choices you made were wrong and you feel like a failure if you do change. What you went through in the past whether bad or good is more real to you than the benefits you can gain in the future. Basically, we fear the unknown and that's why change is hard.
“Change makes us spiritual heavyweights in the game of life; it is preparation for our greatness” the yamas & niyamas
It is the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that creates the stories of our lives. It is our belief in our limitations of life that shapes how we see the world around us and how we walk on this earth. These limitations in belief are what denies us from becoming our true self.
Live your life base on love not fear
All over the Internet you see people living these great lives. Some of those lives are real and some of those, not so real. Which one is which doesn’t really matter. To me, many of the lives we see are there to inspire us to live beyond our present reality. But even if we have the inspiration to live the lives of our dr eams, so many of us hesitate due to our fears. I am one of those people as well.
Too often we do things to make other people happy. As stated previously, I often gave up the things that I would love in order to do the things that we are supposed to do. We live up to other expectations rather than to live in accordance of our true spirit. Thus we tend to not trust ourselves and to not trust our dreams. This is where fear comes in.
Fear and doubt are two things that prevent us from moving forward. Deep down, we know what we want and we know we have what it takes to get there. But by trying to avoid perceived disaster we limit ourselves. We are afraid that we won't have the life we were raised to have. I once ran an organization that gave me more pride than money. When I shut it down, yes I felt as if I failed but I thought I would just start up again soon. But with each passing day, fear built up. As I bought more into the narrative of the life I should lead, the more doubt I had in my ability to pursue my dreams. Questioning myself became part of my reality.
As I read more about those who became successful, I started to understand that if you want to be great you have to take risks. It will be the risk that will get you to a level most can't imagine or can be a complete disaster. Yet even those who suffered disaster again learned from the experiences and continued to pursue their goals. This is where I fell off. By stopping I allowed momentum to stop as well.
How do I plan to turn this around? What advice would I give others?
We should all learn to live life based on love instead of fear. What would you love to do on a daily basis? How would you love your life to look? Who would you love to share your time? Who around you would you love to influence through your actions? When you look back on your life, would you say that you loved how you lived it?
This is not an easy thing to do. But if you shift your mindset to focus on love, that energy will awaken the positive energy that exists inside of you and inside us all. By focusing on what you love and pursuing it first in small increments, eventually you will find that you are ready to make the final leap to live the life you love. It will be scary at first, but a love filled life ends up being more mentally, physically and spiritually rewarding than I life built on fear.
How you live is a reflection of what you value
Growing up I never had to focus on making money to be happy. It's not that I grew up with a lot of money. It was quite the opposite. In fact my mother always told me as long as I am happy, that's the only thing that matters.
I often struggled with that concept of happiness. Despite growing up without a lot of money, not even with a car in the family, I was extremely happy growing up. Yet at the same time, outside pressures from the media and society at large often made me question my definition of happiness.
Even as I got older, my best jobs were the ones that didn’t pay me as much as others, but it didn't make me feel as I was working at all. Those were happy times. But as certain age milestones came along I wondered if I should be more accomplished and at times I questioned what I truly valued. I didn’t trust that I could do what my mother did, which was raise her children and purchase a home on her own. This form of questioning led me to go to from jobs which I didn't care about yet made more money, to jobs that fulfilled me everyday.
I have finally come to terms that I would rather be happy and live a life based on my terms and my values regardless of what the outside world says. I still crave more at times, but my convictions are stronger.
It makes me wonder, am I the only one who went through this struggle? Are we truly living the way we want to live or are we living in accordance to how other people expect us to live.
Here is an example of how you can really understand what you truly value. If you say you value family, why would you work 80 hours per week not allowing you to see or have the energy to spend time with your kids. Think about what made you happy about as you grew up with your parents. Were your happiest moments about the things they bought you or did you value the times you spent with your parents and family. Your answer is a reflection of your true value.
In order for us to be able to determine if we are living the life of our dreams, we need to determine what are our values (are they your values or the ones you were taught to uphold).
Write down those values and write down the values you were taught to uphold.
Now focus on your new values and get rid of what you were taught externally to value.
Where in your life today do those values come up and where can you express it more? How will you let your values to be shown in the real world and how can you apply it on a daily basis? Explore where you express your deepest values and how can you amplify that expression.
By living your life in accordance to what you truly value it will allow you to live in a constant state happiness. Living with such clarity is one of the first steps to designing and living the life of your dreams.
Discovering your Genius
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”
You see, every one of us has a genius inside us. This is not something that we are taught or told everyday. It is something that a lot of us walk through life not fully understanding this simple fact. For those who understand this reality, they are able to amplify their genius to a very high level. Finding our level of genius though is not as easy to do. For years many of us, have learnt from school, our families, our centres of religious beliefs that we are flawed individuals who are in need of correcting such flaws. But we if we are taught from an early age to focus on our strengths or the things that not only excites us, but the things that we personally feel makes us unique?
So how do we go about discovering the true thing that we can identify as our genius?
As Eckhart Tolle says, our identity is our conditioned state and how we are conditioned has a lot to do how we move in this world. Who we are today is an accumulation of all that has happened to us and how we reacted to those situations. From those incidents, we developed a narration of ourselves. This narration affects our relationships to friends, family and most importantly ourselves.
How we see ourselves strongly affects if we are able to identify and appreciate the special tools or qualities we possess that makes up our genius. If you were told all your life that you are not worthy to gather crumbs under this thy table, you will not believe that you are worthy of much. If you were always told you need to get better at this, when deep down you don’t care about that thing, you wouldn’t feel complete. Or if you are really good at something like the creative arts or something that society doesn't deem to see as having value, unfortunately we translate those words into us not having value.
In order to change the narrative we have of ourselves, we have to undo the many years of conditioning we received. This is not easy. Yet it is not impossible. The process involves reaching deep inside to identify the things that always made you happy, the things that filled you up with pride. The difficult part of the process is learning how to trust yourself and to trust your instincts.
Trusting yourself after many years of conditioning takes a lot of practice and re-conditioning. Affirmations and mantras have been useful tools to counteract the negative thoughts that we've inherited throughout our lives. By doing them daily, we learn how to feel better about ourselves and we learn to trust our instincts more. The more we dig deep, the more we are able to find our genius. For our genius is deep inside us all.
How do you live your best life?
What would your ideal life look like?
If you had to describe your perfect life, what would you be doing on a daily basis? What would you be doing weekly, monthly or yearly? Does this ever enter your mind? Is this something you ever thought about?
Living our best life does take some work. It doesn’t happen without intention.
Take some time to think about the events that you enjoy doing. You don’t have to do it everyday, but list it out anyway. Write down what you want to do everyday. Write out what you want to do a few times per week, a few times per month and a few times per year. As you do this you will have an outline of how to make your life perfect in your eyes.
Since we are all not independently wealthy, what would you love to do to earn an income? Don’t worry how much money it can make you. In this day and age, it seems as if people are earning tons of money doing just about anything. Yet at the same time, some income can be earned that will be just enough to give you the flexibility you need to live the life of your dreams.
This task doesn’t need to be something you have to do for a lifetime, but something that you can focus on what will get you to that perfect lifestyle. How much time would you want to dedicate to that task daily. Is it something that would still allow you to have the life you want?
As you have the elements of what you would want to do to make your life fulfilling and you have an idea of what you want to do to make an income, start to sketch what a perfect day will look like. Of course if everything cannot fit in a day, sketch out what a perfect week, month or year will look like. Don't worry about what is possible or not. Leave that to the universe to decide.
Now that you have what will make up your dream life, we will create the intentions needed to allow the universe to conspire on your behalf to make this a reality. It may take various twist and turns until you end up achieving your goal. You will be surprised what is possible when we allow ourselves to dream. With belief, dedication and commitment, what is supposed to happen will be realized.
Living Your Dreams Blog #1
Are you living the life that you dreamed about having as you were growing up? Are you living a life that makes you look forward to waking up everyday, leaving you feel accomplished and filled with gratitude every night.
Growing up we all had visions and dreams about how we wanted to live. Some of us wanted a big family. Some of us wanted the freedom to travel frequently. Others just wanted to have more time spending it on a patio having drinks with friends. But somewhere, somehow, has many would say, life got in the way. Those things that get in our way is it about making our lives better or is it about making someone else richer?
How do we go about reclaiming the life we always dreamed of without sacrificing the future of our families? Or is it necessary for us to make a sacrifice to make long term gains and benefits.
A person I was recently talking with is willing to walk away from a guaranteed high paying pension in order to reclaim who she naturally is by opening up her own business. Being who she was born to be personality wise was more important than a good job and a good pension. It took awhile for her family to completely understand that her mental state was worth more than a false sense of security.
Grant it, it's not easy for many of us to make a life altering decision. We often are prisoners of the sunken cost fallacy. The sunken cost fallacy is the belief that since we put so much time into something, no matter how much it pains us, it is worth more than the unknown. Even if that unknown can liberate us.
If we know that we were destined for living a different life, albeit even a better life, what is stopping you from pursuing that ideal. What do you need to make your dreams your reality. We all have the ability to do whatever we want. But do we have the will.
This blog is all about giving every single one of us the tools needed for us all to be Living Your Dreams.
What do you need to shift or change in order for you to live your best life? Let's make it happen!